Two Psychopaths and a Little Lady
by MuckyShroom
Summary: Happy and Tig look after Happy's daughter Rose for one day during the week in "Your Past is Always Behind You" whilst Ashleigh's away on a job.
1. Chapter 1

_**All characters, etc from Sons of Anarchy belong to Kurt Sutter. **_

_**The OC's are mine.**_

_**Any mistakes are my own. Feel free to point them out but please be nice**_

**CHAPTER 1:**

Jax found Tig at the bar in the clubhouse. It wasn't an unusual place to find him mid-morning on a Saturday. Tig was nursing his second hair-of-the-dog beer, squinting in the half light as he blessed the painkillers that had finally tempered his splitting headache to a dull throb.

"Hey Tig." Jax said quietly as he slid onto the stool next to Tig's.

Tig flinched. "There's no need to shout."

Jax grinned. "Self inflicted brother. That'll teach ya to nail a bottle of tequila and fall asleep on the pool table."

"Get fucked." Tig muttered.

Jax's grin grew. "Look, I need you to run an errand for me today." He chuckled at Tig's narrow-eyed look of horror. "Hap's not been answering his phone this morning. Just need you to swing past his place and check everything's OK."

"Ain't there someone else? I'm tryin' to die quietly here."

"Everyone else is working. You know? That thing we do so that this place actually looks like a bona-fide garage sometimes. So we can actually say we're mechanics without people laughin' 'til they piss."

"Hap's a big boy. I'm sure he's OK."

"Yeah well he hasn't asked ma to have Rose today. She's beginning to wonder if he's made good on his threat to lock his little girl in her bedroom 'till she's twenty one."

"So I'm not checking on Hap, I'm checking on the munchkin?"

"Yeah, pretty much." Jax shrugged.

"Do I look like a qualified babysitter to you?"

"Nah, you look like hell. Come on Tig, the ride'll either make you feel better or you'll burn up in the sun. Either way it's got to be better than sufferin' here for the rest of the day." Jax slid off the bar stool, slapping Tig on the back as he did so before walking out of the club house. Tig growled as he nearly face planted into the surface of the bar.

He scowled after Jax and downed the rest of his warm beer. He might as well go for a ride, even a short one. He made sure that his sunglasses were firmly in place before he left the dim clubhouse so that the sunlight wouldn't undo all the wonderful work of the painkillers. When the heat of the day hit him he thought that for one moment he might actually instantaneously combust in some cosmic culmination of karma for all his mis-deeds.


	2. Chapter 2

_**All characters, etc from Sons of Anarchy belong to Kurt Sutter. **_

_**The OC's are mine.**_

_**Any mistakes are my own. Feel free to point them out but please be nice**_

**CHAPTER 2:**

Tig pulled up outside the home that Happy shared with Ashleigh and their two year old daughter Rose, feeling only marginally more human than he had before he set out.

He knocked twice and spat out a curse as he realised there was a Disney theme playing somewhere in the house, loud enough to be audible through the door.

Happy opened the door, after Tig heard him call "Don't throw them on the floor they're for eatin'. They ain't Frisbees."

"Hey brother, wassup?"

"Hey man, Jax sent me over. Wanted me to check Rosie hadn't kicked your ass 'n' run off to Vegas with the paperboy."

Hap just grunted at Tig's attempt at a joke. "We're cool. Come in, she's just destroyin' the kitchen some more."

Tig breathed a sigh of relief as he left the glaring sun for the sanctuary of the cool and shady house, but he almost walked straight into Happy who had stopped and turned in the hallway.

"Don't swear."

"What?" Tig was confused by the sudden instruction.

"You can't swear 'round Rosie. Last time I said 'fuck' she kept sayin' it for a week. Ask her if she wanted a drink 'fuck no', ask her if she wanted a biscuit 'fuck yes', ask her if she wanted to see Nanna Gemma 'fuck Nanna Gemma'. So seriously man: Do not swear."

"Shit, I might as well not even speak." Tig muttered as Happy glared at him.

"And do not, whatever happens, give her your phone! Best case she'll ring some random number. Worst case, she'll flush it. We need to put your knife and gun in the safe too. Kid's a ninja when it comes to findin' stuff like that."

"Jesus Hap, the kid's two."

"Tig, did you spend anytime with your kids when they were toddlers?"

Tig actually had to think hard before replying. "I might have. I've had a few shots of tequila since then."

"Believe me when I tell you I would rather take on every crew we've ever faced all together than explain to Ashleigh how Rosie got a'hold of your piece."

Tig could appreciate that his daughter's temper would redline if such a thing were to happen, so he handed his gun and his knife to Happy and waited in the hallway whilst Happy took them upstairs to stow them in the safe in Ashleigh's office.

Tig wasn't sure if his hearing had been affected by the loud music last night in the club house, but he was sure he could hear some small electronic voice singing the phrase "1,2,3,4,5, all aboard the counting train" over the strains of Disney.

"Am I hearing things?" He asked Happy who was jogging down the stairs.

"Nah, she's hidden one of her toys somewhere. I can't find it, she won't tell me where it is and the damn thing keeps repeatin' itself. I'm waitin' for the batteries to give out."

"How come you ain't sorted it for Gemma to have Rosie today?"

"Gemma's had her every day this week. Figure I should at least try to act like her dad." Happy shrugged. Truth be told he'd been looking forward to the weekend when he could get away from the garage and club business and spend some quality time with his little girl.

As the two men strolled into the kitchen, Happy pointed at the top of the fridge without speaking. Tig looked up and seeing Happy's pre-pay perched on top, he slipped his own phone out of his pocket and placed it next to it.

Tig glanced around the usually neat kitchen and spotted Rosie sat at the table with a plate in front of her that at one time had obviously had a pile of small pancakes on it. She picked up a pancake and flung it across the room where it joined its brothers on the tiled floor. Happy stepped over and picked them up saying firmly "I told you they ain't Frisbees." He shook his head and put the pancakes in the bin.

Rose looked up and spotted the visitor. "Hello Tiggy." She smiled brightly.

"Hey munchkin. You bein' good?"

"Yes." Rose nodded seriously before picking up the last pancake from her plate and throwing it across the kitchen, earning a low growl from Happy as he retrieved it from the floor.

Tig sat down opposite Rose and put his head down, running his hands through his hair as the Disney song finally overpowered the pain killers he'd taken earlier and brought his headache back in force.

Rose slid off her chair and toddled over to Tig. As he glanced sideway at her she put her little hand on his rough cheek. "S'alright Tiggy." She said as she rubbed his rough cheek. She looked up at her father. "Tiggy's head hurts."

"Yeah well that's what you get for mainlining tequila monkey." He said as he leaned back against the kitchen counter, crossing his arms.

Rose screwed her nose up. "What's teekeela?"

"It's a drink for grown ups, like beer."

"What's mane-line?"

Happy and Tig looked at each other. Tig was completely bewildered by the conversation and Happy was trying desperately to come up with a suitable answer. They were saved by Rose's short attention span.

"Bored daddy."

"What do you wanna do monkey?"

Rose shrugged, then her face lit up. "Baking!"

Tig raised his head just enough to grin at Happy. "You bake?!"

Happy scowled. "Bake?! Hell no! I ain't got the first clue about it an' I've seen the house after Ash does baking with Rosie. Looks like a nuclear winter but with flour instead of all the Godzilla, radioactive nastiness. Now, if she asked me if we could strip an' clean my Glock I'd have some idea of where to start."

"Bored daddy." Rose repeated, not having understood what he'd said but gathering that baking would not be happening.

"How about you colour Tig a picture?" Happy suggested.

"OK." Rose smiled and ran out of the room. She came back carrying a pad and a pink Hello Kitty pencil case. She set herself up on the kitchen table and Happy came over to sit next to her.

"Gonna draw Tiggy a flower." Rose said opening the pad to a blank sheet of paper.

She started colouring, sticking the tip of her tongue out between her lips as she concentrated. About half way through her colouring she looked up at Tig and announced, "cheese makes me happy," before taking a bite out of the yellow crayon she was holding.

Tig gave Happy a quizzical look. "You been letting her hang round Juice?"

Happy huffed. "Kid's crazier than he is. She'd be a bad influence."

Rosie finished her picture and pulled the sheet of paper from the pad before proudly handing it to Tig.

"Thank you sweetheart. I'm gonna take this home with me." Tig folder the paper carefully and put it in his pocket thinking he might actually put the colourfully scrawled artwork up somewhere in his dorm room, if only to freak out the croweaters a little bit more.

Happy noticed that Tig was still a little green around the edges. "Monkey, why don't you get your ball an' we'll go outside for a bit."

Rosie nodded, leaving her crayons and pad on the kitchen table she ran off back to her room. Happy mercifully turned off the CD player before leading Tig into the back yard where they both promptly lit cigarettes before Rose came bouncing back through the house. She dropped the ball, covered in pictures of cartoon characters, at Happy's feet and waited for him to kick it gently into the garden before chasing after it, carrying it half way back then kicking it to her father for the process to be repeated.

As she was making one of her trips to retrieve the ball Tig turned to Happy and said in a low voice so that Rose wouldn't hear. "Shouldn't we, like, take her out? To the park or garage or somethin'?"

"How? Ash has taken her cage. Rosies' still too small for the bike."

"She could walk."

"Tig she's like two foot tall, she can't walk that far." Happy chuckled as he kicked the ball for Rose again.

"How does she usually get around then?"

"When she ain't drivin' Ash usually uses the stroller for walkin' a ways."

"Seriously killa? I don't see you pushin' a stroller." Tig had to take a moment to process the mental image.

"You volunteerin'?" Happy gave Tig a sideways look.

"Is it pink?"

"Yep."

"Then hell no!"

Then we ain't goin' out." Happy shrugged.

Rose came running over, hugging her ball to her chest with a huge smile on her face. Her cheeks were flushed and her curly black hair was desperately trying to escape its pig tails as usual.

"Whatcha wanna do now doll face?" Tig asked crouching down in front of the child.

"Careful. She might make you play tea party." Happy chuckled.

Tig looked up at the six foot plus, bald, tattooed biker. "You play tea party?"

Happy scowled. "No I do not play tea party. I'm the scary ass bouncer that keeps all the toys at the tea party in line."

Tig couldn't help laughing so hard he nearly fell on his ass.

"If you breathe a word of that at the club house brother I will slice your dick, make a sandwich with it an' feed it to you... with mayo." Happy growled.

Rose was staring up at her father, brows drawn as she tried to decipher the conversation. Happy was mentally kicking himself hoping that she hadn't picked up a few new words. Fortunately Rose decided to concentrate on the bit of the conversation that had interested her the most.

"Sandwich Daddy?" She smiled and rubbed her stomach.

"You hungry monkey?"

Rose nodded enthusiastically. Tig picked himself up from the ground. "Yeah I could go for some food."

"Did you come round to do anythin' useful?" Happy asked as they went back into the kitchen.

"I'm here to make the joint look pretty." Tig grinned.

Happy just threw some bread rolls at him. Tig patted his hip for his own knife before he remembered it had been confiscated. He caught Happy's scowl and reached for the actual breadknife from the knife block.

They managed to make and eat lunch without Happy gutting Tig with the butter knife and without Rose using her food for target practice again. Afterwards Rose decided she wanted to play with her set of wooden building blocks. Tig was grateful for the seemingly calm turn of activity, until Rose started to lose her temper when the shapes wouldn't stack up exactly the way she wanted them to. He dodged a couple of the blocks she threw during her minor tantrum, although when one came dangerously close to hitting him in the head he couldn't help making a quip about certain traits that the little girl might have inherited from her mother to which Happy only reminded him where her mother had gotten those traits in the first place.

"Hey!" Happy admonished sternly. Rose stopped throwing the bricks and looked up at him, eyes wide. "Come on darlin'. How about we put a movie on?" He added gently to distract her from the object of her frustration and any possible impending tears.

"OK." Rose smiled and bounced into the living room. When Tig and Happy followed her they found her sat cross-legged by the television with what had previously been neatly piled DVD's scattered around her.

"This one daddy."

She handed him her choice, and as Happy put the DVD into the player she scrambled up onto the middle of the sofa. Tig sat on one side of her and as Happy pressed 'play' on the remote, he sat on the other.

Although Happy had seen the DVD at least six times that week already, it was one that Tig hadn't seen, and seeing the grown man creased with laughter at the antics of the animated characters had Happy laughing at the film all over again.

It was sometime later that Gemma walked in and found the three of them on the sofa. Jax had phoned her after both Tig and Happy had failed to answer numerous calls. Gemma had to choke back laughter at the sight of Tig and Happy asleep on the sofa. Rose was wide awake and had obtained a marker pen from somewhere and was happily scribbling on Tig's face.

Tig was twitching but didn't wake up until Rose jammed the pen into his eye. He shot up, nearly dislodging Rose off the sofa altogether and waking Happy up in the process. They both scrubbed their hands over their faces before they noticed Gemma, doubled over with laughter that she was unable to hold in any longer.

"I'll take over from here boys." She gasped. "Rosie can sleep over at mine tonight with Abel and Thomas. You two go over to the club house. You look like you deserve a couple of beers."

She beckoned Rose. "Come on honey, let's go pack a bag for you." She looked over her shoulder as she left the room with the little girl's hand clasped in her own. "Oh, Tig. You might wanna wash up a little first." She gestured at his face and started laughing again at his completely bemused expression.

_AN: Sorry if I've over or underestimated the language skills and abilities of a two year old. My little boy is only 14 months so I don't have much of a guide._


	3. Chapter 3: Christmas Chaos

_**All characters, etc from Sons of Anarchy belong to Kurt Sutter. **_

_**The OC's are mine.**_

**CHAPTER 3: **

Happy was rethinking some of the methods of torture he normally used. It was all well and good beating people with his fists, shooting their knee caps or carving chunks out of them with his knife; but he was becoming fairly certain that none of that was really half as effective as forcing someone to sit in a room on Christmas Day with a handful of kids high on sugar.

The tables and food had been cleared away. Now there were going to be a couple of hours of carnage before the old ladies took the children home, leaving the men to recover and cut loose. Sure the Sons were all about family but where the fuck had this seventh circle of hell come from? This wasn't what he was used to. Christmas when he was a kid had been quiet, all about just him, his ma and his aunt. As he grew up it had only been about escaping to hang out with his friends. As a Son, either as the Tacoma Killa or as a Nomad, it had been about spending time with his ma or a lonely meal in an anonymous diner. He glanced around the room, it was going to be a completely different scene in the clubhouse once darkness fell, but for now raucous family chaos reigned supreme.

Thomas was sat on the floor surrounded by a group of those annoying dancing musical toys. He was pointing to each on in turn, conducting Tig to keep pressing paws and tummies so that the stream of high-pitched, corny festive music was a continuous din. Between the ear-splitting noise and the flashing lights, anyone in a five foot radius was in imminent danger of a psychotic episode. There was a penguin singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas', a mouse singing 'Jingle Bells', a snowman singing 'White Christmas' and a polar bear playing 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas', in the style of Kenny G whilst swaying with a plastic saxophone. Tig had thought it was hilarious at first, but now that it'd been going on for half an hour Happy could see the man's hand twitching at his side and knew Tig was thinking about getting his gun and shooting all the screeching stuffed animals in turn, point blank.

Refereed by Chibs and cheered on by Jax, Rosie and Abel were jumping across the room in a sack race, using the big, brightly coloured plastic sacks that their presents had been contained in. Those presents were now all piled neatly under the large tree, completely ignored. Happy couldn't understand why an iPad was just slipped into a plastic bag in a box when a toy fire engine had to be packed and tethered in such a complicated a manner you'd think it was being prepared for a mission to Mars.

Bobby had retreated to the bar and the comforting embrace of Jack D, having nearly had an aneurism when Abel had mispronounced Rudolph and started singing 'Adolf the Red Nosed Reindeer'.

Kenny and Ellie were wandering around in seeming innocence; but Happy'd seen them sneaking sips out of everyone's bottles of beer when they thought no one was looking. If they carried on for much longer they'd both be paralytic under the Christmas tree. They were already giggling loudly and throwing a sprout, that had obviously made a bid for freedom from someone's plate, between them.

Juice was hooking up a karaoke machine. Happy knew that Rosie would dance along to whatever was playing, no matter how bad the singing. Although Abel was beginning to get pretty good at Black Sabbath's Paranoid.

He could hear laughter coming from the kitchen. How the hell all the women had managed to escape in there leaving the outlaw bikers minding the kids he had no idea. He scrubbed a hand over his forehead as if to rub away the headache that was building and wondered who the fuck had put Michael Buble on the sound system.


	4. Chapter 4

_**All characters, etc from Sons of Anarchy belong to Kurt Sutter. **_

_**The OC's are mine.**_

_**Any mistakes are my own. Feel free to point them out but please be nice**_

_**Thank you to LaughingWarrior for kicking me back into the headspace where I can write this. As much as you're nasty to Happy, I'm going to be nice. So there!**_

_**I'd like to stress for everyone's benefit that this story has no planned outcome or ending. It's just that stuff that kids do that hopefully will give you the giggles when they do it in Charming.**_

_**-o0o-**_

**CHAPTER 4:**

Tig settled himself on the bar stool and threw back his first shot of tequila of the night. He savoured the familiar burn as it warmed the length of his throat. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, gearing up to fully enjoy his night. He opened his eyes, signalled to the prospect behind the bar for another shot and a beer and turned on his stool to scan the room.

Juice was doing some nerd work on his laptop on one of the tables, tapping at the keyboard so fast his fingers were almost blurred, looking at the screen with intense concentration. Tig sighed; there were so many better uses for computers and the internet. Chibs and Bobby were shooting a lazy game of pool.

Happy, his usual partner in crime on nights like this was at home with his wife and daughter. As much as Tig was enjoying having his daughter and granddaughter around, it had put an end to his and Happy's long, raucous nights at the Jellybean. He knew most of his brothers couldn't stand the place, considered the strippers there horse meat in a g-string, but Tig was fascinated by the jaded and mostly strung out girls. He had yet to meet one who had refused to do anything he asked of them. Of course, they all had a price, but not one of them had said 'hell no' yet and he liked that they never thought a repeat visit meant more than the fact they just happened to be there again.

Ashleigh had brought Rose by the garage just before closing to see the guys as they finished up for the day. His little granddaughter had shown a surprising knowledge about various tools, impressing the hell out of the regular mechanics. She'd looked adorable in her little jeans, toddler sized Guns 'n' Roses t-shirt, miniature leather jacket and her sparkly Converse hi-tops. Rose's mutinous black curls were trapped in their customary pigtails. Ashleigh was around three months pregnant and starting to show a little already. She was due to go for her first scan the following week and the boys had been making jokes about her giving birth to a mutant biker baby, since Hap was so tall himself and all. The nausea seemed to be wearing off. She'd only had to stop and breathe through it a couple of times. A few jokes had been made at Hap's expense about his luck that certain scents that didn't make Ashleigh want to vomit, but only a few, no one wanted to seriously piss him off. Tig had thought that Ashleigh had looked a little tired and pale. At first she'd seemed a little surprised when he'd drawn her to one side, asked how she felt and suggested she find a way to get some more rest, but then she'd smiled and hugged him. Tig knew he would never be a real father to her, would never measure up to the guy who'd raised her, but it felt good that she let him be concerned about her.

Looking for a little distraction, a way to kick start the party, and with his thoughts trailing back to the Jellybean, his eyes fell on a couple of croweaters sat chatting on the sofa. There they were, shooting the shit with each other, just waiting to be called up by one of the Sons. Tig figured a good way to start the night would be to keep them both busy for a couple of hours. He was just about to catch their eye and beckon them over when his phone went off. He fished the vibrating device out of his pocket and had barely flipped it open before he heard the shout from the other end of the line.

"_Tig!"_

"Hey brother. Wassup?"

"_You fucking gave her sugar didn't you?!"_

"I gave her a cupcake. One of the girls brought some round. Homebaked an' shit. Thought it'd be good for the monkey."

"_Cup cakes have sugar in them. For fuck's sake!"_

"What's the drama?" Tig really couldn't understand why Happy was getting his hair, well, stubble, off about a fucking cupcake.

"_Rosie's runnin' around like she's snorted half a gram of amphet. She's supposed to be in bed. Did you even think to check it didn't have bud in it?"_

"It can't be that bad. It was only a fucking cupcake. Tiny, little thing. Anyway, if it had hash in it she wouldn't be runnin' riot."

"_She's a kid Tig. It is that bad. She's bouncin' off the walls, literally. She's runnin' from one end of the room to the other and smackin' into the wall before turnin' round an' doin' it again to the other wall. Any more bumps and Child Services are gonna be after my ass."_

OK, OK, I'm sorry, no more cupcakes for the kid; but what the fuck do you want me to do about it?

"_Get your ass over here. You can help me get her to sleep since you juiced her up."_

"Where's Ash?"

"_She's dog tired. I sent her over to Gemma to get some rest."_

Tig sighed as his imagined night wrapped in and around the two croweaters whilst draining a bottle of something eighty per cent proof evaporated. At least it would give him the opportunity to deliver a gift that he had for Rose that he hadn't wanted to drag out that afternoon.

"OK. I'm on my way."

-o0o-

Happy opened the door when Tig pulled into the driveway, giving him a curious look at his mode of transport since he was in the van rather than on his Harley. Happy walked over without speaking. Tig wondered just how bad Rose had been for Hap to be this pissed at him. Tig was busy pulling the large package, tightly wrapped in black refuse sacks, out of the back of the van when Hap reached him.

"You bring a fuckin' body with you or something'?"

"It's a present for Rosie."

"You brought her a dead person?"

"Nah, you'll see. It's cute."

Tig could see that Happy wasn't convinced. The package didn't look anything like a dead body; it was far...floppier, and lighter, even if it was more than six foot long and about half as wide.

Once inside Tig dumped the massive parcel on the sofa as they went through the usual rigmarole of stowing his gun and knife in the safe. Tig could hear the commotion in the kitchen; cupboards and pans banging and Rose alternately laughing and screaming so high and loud surely only dogs could hear it. He was beginning to understand why cupcakes were not suitable bedtime food for toddlers.

Happy came back into the room and gestured at the sombre bundle. "You want me to call her in to open it?"

"Nah. It's not as much fun when it ain't gift wrapped." Tig stepped forward and started pulling away the black plastic. The contents expanded as the bindings were removed. Tig stepped back, revealing the biggest teddy bear Happy had even seen.

"Fuck. Rosie's gonna love it if it don't give her nightmares, but I got no idea where in the hell we're gonna put it. If Ash asks, I'm gonna tell her this is all on you."

"You'd throw me under the bus brother?" Tig asked with mock hurt.

"Hell yeah, I would. For a seven foot bear, definitely. I ain't takin' the heat from Ash for this."

Tig followed Hap into the still noisy kitchen with some trepidation, wondering what carnage he would find. It wasn't too bad, but he soon realised why as he put his phone on top of the fridge. Hap immediately started picking up the pans and tins of food that Rose had released from the cupboards.

Tig watched in complete bewilderment as Rose, sporting a couple of red marks on her forehead from crashing into the walls, scampered into the middle of the kitchen floor and started spinning around with her arms out, laughing like a crazy child. He looked over at Hap who simply looked back with a 'what do you expect' quirk of an eyebrow as dizziness finally assailed Rose and she dropped to the floor. Still laughing, panting a little, she pulled herself up and started spinning around again. Tig had no idea what to do, whether to do anything, or what to say. Rose looked completely happy with her activity, crazy though it was. Then with a final, loud, maniacal cackle and a breathless "Hello Tiggy" she ran out of the kitchen, still a little unsteady, cannoning off the door jamb as she went.

Happy just shrugged his shoulders and headed to the fridge, snagging a couple of beers by the necks of the bottles. He popped the caps off and handed one to Tig before taking a long pull of his own.

"I'm sorry brother. I had no idea."

Happy just grunted in response and took another swig of his drink. He was about to take another swallow when the bottle stopped on its way to his mouth. His eyebrows drew together and he seemed to be listening. Tig couldn't figure out what the problem was. It was quiet. He couldn't hear Rose crying or anything. It didn't sound like there was a problem anywhere.

Happy stalked out of the kitchen. Tig followed wondering what was wrong. They went into the living room. Apart from the enormous stuffed toy and the carnage created by Rose, toys strewn everywhere like Santa's sack had been packed with a pound of C4, there was nothing amiss, other than that Rose wasn't in there.

"Shit! Where is she? It's too fuckin' quiet." Happy muttered.

He was about start up the stairs to look for Rose when she appeared on the landing. Smiling broadly she sat on the top step then bumped the rest of the way down on her backside.

"What you been up to monkey?" Hap asked as she reached the bottom step.

"Playing Beep Daddy."

Hap looked at Tig, confusion across is face, as Rose ran past them back into the kitchen and resumed disembowelling the cupboards.

"I have no idea what the fuck 'Beep' is."

"Don't look at me brother. I got no clue on that."

They followed Rose into the kitchen to find her emptying the tins of food from one cupboard. She was setting some in the middle of the floor and others she lined up on the kitchen table. There didn't seem to be an obvious pattern, but the little girl seemed to be taking her task very seriously and had very definite ideas about where each tin should be placed.

"Don't you have those lock things to stop her getting in?" Tig asked.

"Yeah. Took her all of a week to figure those out."

Tig was suitably impressed by his granddaughter's burglary skills. He could tell though that Hap's need for neatness was being severely tested by Rose's game, but he was too busy trying to figure out why she was separating the tins in the way that she was to pay much attention to the pending explosion. All three looked up at the sharp knock on the front door. Hap shrugged, indicating that he hadn't been expecting anyone. When Rose ran past them to answer the door he grabbed her by the neck of her t-shirt.

"Not so fast monkey."

Tig wasn't sure which of the two of them was most surprised to find a police officer at the door when Hap opened it.

"Mr Lowman?"

"Yes."

"We had a call to nine-one-one from this address."

Happy stepped back so that the officer could see that it was just him, Tig and half the contents of a Toy's 'r' Us store in the house. The officer leaned his head into the door way and took a quick look around to reassure himself that there were no dead bodies hanging from the walls or stacks of stolen goods. His eyebrows went up a notch at the bear dominating the sofa.

"I didn't call. Don't know who did. Just us an' my kid here."

The officer finally looked down and spotted Rose standing with her arm around Tig's leg, his hand on her shoulder, just behind Happy. A wide grin spread slowly over his face before he chuckled. The officer squatted down so that he was on eye level with Rose. Tig wasn't too pleased about the officer talking to the child just on principle, but he figured that since she was wrapped around his leg and the officer seemed to be in a good mood it was going to do more harm than good to make a fuss about it. He still squeezed his big palm protectively on her shoulders though and pulled her a little closer.

"Hi honey. What's your name?"

Rose peeked out shyly from her riot of curls. "Rose."

"Well Rose, have you been playing with the phone in the house at all today?"

Tig's jaw dropped slightly when he felt Rose nod against his leg. "I played Beep."

The officer chuckled again and smiled up at Happy before continuing, despite Happy's stern face.

"When you play beep do you press the buttons on the phone?"

Rose nodded again. "Yes, they make beep beep noises."

"What did you do after you played Beep honey?"

Rose turned to give her daddy a quick, shy look with wide eyes before hiding her face in Tig's leg. "I pulled the strings."

"Do you mean the wires behind the phone honey?"

Rose nodded again; face still buried in Tig's thigh.

"I guess your daddy told you not to huh?"

Another small nod. The officer chuckled again as he stood up.

He was smiling as he looked at Happy and Tig. That unnerved Tig, he really wasn't used to police being friendly with him like this, and judging by Hap's expression he was equally out of his depth with this.

"When we get a nine-one-one call that's silent, it's standard procedure to call the number back. You know, in case someone can't quite get to the phone, or in case it's a child ringing on behalf of an adult. Happens quite a lot with diabetic and epileptic attacks, that sort of thing. Anyway, when we can't get through, we visit the address that comes up on screen to make sure everything's OK. My guess is that your little girl here managed to dial nine-one-one and then disconnected the phone straight after. When our operators couldn't get back to you, they put the call out for an officer to check it out. My guess is, if you check the handset, you'll find the connector's been pulled out of the socket."

When Tig looked at Happy he could see he had dropped his head as he was shaking it in a poor attempt to hide the fact that he was laughing. Rose was looking up at all the adults around her with big eyes, wondering just how much trouble she was in and if she was going to get shouted at.

"Thank you officer." Happy said when he'd finally regained control. No matter how innocent the cause of this, Tig could still tell that the words stuck in Happy's throat. A lifetime of being on the opposing side to the law had left him with an ingrained distrust of anything in a uniform and the words were grated out.

"You all have a good day now." The officer nodded at them, still grinning, before turning and heading back to his patrol car.

Happy shut the door. Both men were still astonished that they had been in the presence of a unformed officer of the law and not been cuffed or read their rights. Tig looked down at Rose who was giving them her best innocent look. This kid obviously had magical effects on the law; at least she did now whilst she was small and cute. Tig had his suspicions that that would change around the same time Rose hit puberty.

Hap squatted down so that he was on a level with Rose.

Tig could tell from the death grip that the little girl had on his thigh that she knew she was in trouble. He didn't miss Hap's quick look of annoyance either when he tightened his hand on Rose's shoulder and pulled her a little closer. He hadn't meant to imply anything, it was simply instinct.

"Remember what we told you about not playing in our bedroom and about not playing with the phone?" Happy asked firmly but gently.

Rose nodded. "Sorry Daddy."

"It's OK monkey. Don't do it again. No more Beep yeah?"

"When Hap stood again he said, "She knows she's done wrong. Shoutin' won't help."

Happy turned back towards the kitchen whilst Tig looked on and wondered which demon of all things calm and serene had possessed his friend. He followed Hap, a little more slowly since Rose was still attached to his leg. When he got into the kitchen he was relieved to find that the demon possessed Happy was gone and that in his place was the simmeringly violent brother that he knew and loved. Happy was running his hand over the stubble on his head as he surveyed the carnage that Rose had been in the middle of creating before the officer's arrival.

Seeing that his brother was struggling to keep his need for neatness and order under control, Tig decided to step in. "Let's take her out, walk round the block or somethin'."

"Ash's got the cage."

"So? Brother you are about to go insane with all this mess. Let's get out of here. The fresh air might send her to sleep anyway."

Hap looked around the room again and let out a deep huff in defeat before opening a door which led to some sort of utility room and pulling out a stroller. As Tig had feared, it was still a pink one. Happy carried it out through the living room to the front door.

Tig looked down at Rose and was met with her huge brown-eyed stare. "Come on monkey. Let's roll out." She gave him a wide grin as he swung her up onto his hip.

It was a warm evening so they didn't bother putting a coat on Rose. Tig was trying to strap her into the stroller as Happy locked up the house, but seeing that Tig was completely flummoxed by the straps and fastenings Hap took over, making sure that Rose couldn't just push herself out if she saw something that took her interest. Once she was locked in Hap looked over at Tig, the question clear in his eyes.

"It's OK brother, I'll drive." Tig said with a grin. He was looking forward to this more than he would let on. The absurdity of the scenario, two fierce, tattooed hard-asses in leather and denim strolling down the street with the cute little girl in the pink stroller appealed to his sense of the bizarre. Happy just shook his head and made sure that his sunglasses were firmly in place before falling into step next to Tig.

It took a bit of practice to get used to walking with the stroller, to avoid catching the toes of his boots on the back wheels, to get the hang of the balance and the steering; but soon they were rolling along steadily, enjoying the warm evening sun.

"You know, if we're gonna do this again sometime we really should get some sort of Reaper goin' on this thing." Tig said whilst winking at a woman walking towards them who seemed unable to stop staring as they walked past.

"Huh." Happy grunted. "You just better hope we don't see Chibs. Never hear the fuckin' end of it."

Tig just smiled his agreement and waved at a family on the other side of the street who had matching completely horrified expressions and clutched their young son to them before hurrying along. The clocks had moved forward a couple of weeks previously so it was still quite light, although the sun was setting, painting everything with a golden glow.

After a couple of blocks they realised that Rose had stopped singing to herself and pointing out various things that they passed such as dogs or particularly bright flowers. When they looked down they saw that she was flat out, fast asleep, head wedged against the side of the stroller, her long black eye lashes brushing her rounded, pink cheeks.

Tig gently turned the stroller around and they headed back to the house. When they got back to the front door Tig held the stroller steady whilst Hap worked his magic on the restraints, since he couldn't figure out where the hell the brake was on the contraption. Rose was still asleep when Happy had finished unstrapping her. Tig lifted her out, carefully cradling her head. As Hap finished unlocking the door Tig followed him in, gently cradling Rose against his chest.

They took the sleeping child up to her room. She was splayed out against Tig's chest. He had one arm around the back of her legs and the other at the back of her head which was resting on his shoulder, her face buried in his neck. Her little breaths tickled his skin and he could feel her heartbeat just that little bit faster than an adult's, as it fluttered against his body. Rose was so warm and soft, her arms were thrown out across his chest and she was sleeping against him trustingly. Her downy curls tickled his ear as it fell in the riotous curls so like his own. Tig found himself unconsciously swaying side-to-side a little, as he had done with his girls when they were little and he'd held them in this way. He'd be the first person to admit that he'd been a shitty father to Dawn and Fawn, but he hadn't been completely absent. There had been plenty of times when he'd rocked them to sleep or soothed them after they'd woken from a nightmare.

Tig placed Rose gently on her small bed once Hap had turned the comforter down. Between them they managed to get most of her clothes off without waking her. Happy managed to get her into a pull-up nappy and yet Rose remained flat-out. Her father gently laid the comforter over her sleeping form and they both left the room as quietly as possible.

They found themselves in the living room staring blankly at the mess and the seven foot bear.

"Comin' to the club house? You look like you could use a beer."

Happy shook his head. "Not tonight brother. I'll be asleep before the first shot."

"You're gettin' old Killer." Tig teased.

Happy grunted. "Like to see you look after her for a day on your own."

"No way Ash'd allow it." Tig grinned smugly.

-o0o-

Tig strolled back into the clubhouse and regained his stool. A few more hang-arounds had appeared whilst he was gone, as well as a few more croweaters. He got a shot and lit a cigarette, taking a long, hard-earned lungful of smoke. Tig guessed that Jax was at home with his family. Chibs, Juice and Bobby were now watching one of the girls sling herself gracefully around the pole. Each Son had a girl in his lap, either grinding their hips or openly rubbing the men's crotches. In Juice's case his girl seemed to be trying to eat him from the mouth down.

Tig realised he was yawning. He shook his head ruefully and crushed out his cigarette. It looked like Hap wouldn't be the only one getting an early night. He slipped off his stool and headed quietly to his dorm room, leaving the incipient orgy behind.

_A/N I have no idea if the Police do that call back thing in the US, but they do it in the UK, and yes my son managed to have the Police turn up at his aunt's house, so I threw it in._

_Finally: Much love to the FF SoA Tweeps, you know who you are, if I list you all I'm bound to miss someone. Ladies you are awesome!_


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